I was unaware that in Hebrew the word “Jew” (Yehudi) stems from the root word “to thank” or to “acknowledge (lehodot) giving suggestion that in the root of Judaism is the deep connection to “thankfulness” and “gratitude.”
Today, the day after the election, I’m feeling like someone has died. I can only relate this emotion to the fear that something has died. In the moment, there is the sense that Democracy, as we have lived it, will dwindle to just a whisper of a concept for our grandchildren.
My three college-student granddaughters reached out to me today from their individual campuses sharing how they were feeling. I kvelled from each of them and their interesting and heartfelt emotions and how they and their peers are handling the new normal.
Shayna, a senior at the University of Oregon, told me a good majority of classes were cancelled, students were sitting in groups all around campus looking despondent. She said many of her classmates feel confused because it seems all that they were taught about Democracy, and the Constitution is hanging on a thread with lots of doubt.
Her most impressive message to me was, “I feel grateful for my Chabad community where I have a loving support system and we’ll be getting together tonight. Sharing feelings with friends helps me. After trying to come to a sense of peace today, I’m struck that we must work with community agencies, despite the DC officials. Grass roots must be our focus to bring change.”
Ari, a junior at the University at Madison, WI, was in tears! She is so confused by the direction of the country and is angry that women could betray other women, adding, “I’m very concerned about the future of women’s issues.” By late afternoon she hadn’t eaten, tests that were scheduled for today got rescheduled, and “I’m so thankful that I have my friends at Hillel where we’re gathering tonight, and I know the discussion will be filled with anger and fear! But, at least, we have each other.” (The next day, Ari went back to Hillel to bake a challah for a friend that had a difficult exam and was feeling very down! The fact that she had Hillel to go to was very comforting for her.)
Kami, a sophomore in Madrid, Spain, via Northeastern University, texted me that the news is so sad, expressing, “I’ve been crying all day long and don’t know how to come back home after this. How do we have gratitude for America now?” Her support system is different because of all the international students so she feels alone today. I find it interesting that she questions how she can find gratitude for the America she has always known.
Interesting emotions from Gen Zs. All worthy concerns and fears for their future. I do appreciate how the concept of grateful and gratitude were part of their comments.
As we enter the Thanksgiving holidays, our family gatherings may not have the joyful atmosphere that many of us were anticipating, and yet, there will be many who rejoice over the election. A slippery slope if your gathering has a mixture of both sets of emotions! Oy vey and good luck!
So, Judaism has important rituals that embrace the relationship of thankfulness and gratitudevia daily practices, philosophies and prayers to help manifest the values for us to live by:
Brachot, or Daily Blessings, wants us to know that everything we do can be a reason for gratitude.
Modeh Ani translates to “I give thanks” for waking up each morning while G-d grants us a new day and sets the tone for gratitude.
Birkat HaMazon is a series of blessings to thankG-d for food and that Israel is a source of sustenance to us.
Amidah, recited three times a day, is an expression of being thankful to
G-d for the gift of life, daily miracles and kindness.
The Shehecheyanu (my personal favorite), expresses connecting gratitude to the continuity of life while experiencing something new, from the biggest of thanks to the smallest.
I spoke to several people and asked how they will celebrate this emotional Thanksgiving and exactly what “Being thankful means to them in 2024:”
-Female/Baby Boomer: “After living for so long, I’ve come to the realization that “To everything there is a season,” and I’m grateful that within the seasons, there is always something new upon us. My prayers will be geared for positive changes, especially in Israel.”
-Male/ Baby Boomer: “The only thing guaranteed to us is that there will always be change, it’s the most constant in our lives. I’m thankful for the opportunities for change and how it seems to bring new ideas that we can put in place. We just must have one that will bring the hostages home, maybe we can hope for a Chanukah miracle.”
-Female/Gen X: “I have appreciation that I’ve learned about Social Intelligence and how it has made me more aware of the feelings of others, how my words and actions affect others while allowing for more kindness towards one another. We need more empathy and kindness in the world.”
-Male/Gen X: “It’s been a tough time in our country and though I’m very disappointed with the response from the American people that may put our Democracy in jeopardy, I feel blessed this Thanksgivingfor the family and friends that surround me. I appreciate our discussions where we share our concerns with one another and look for ways we can maneuver around what doesn’t seem right for America.”
-Female/Gen Z: “It’s really confusing on how to sort out what we have been taught throughout our school years and what the world is today. Being on a college campus offers many opinions, perspectives and life-experiences from a varied community. I think for me, it’s the diversity that I’m indebted to and will welcome as a blessing this Thanksgiving because it teaches me so much about the world.”
-Male/Gen Z: “This Thanksgiving, I’m grateful for my parents who have allowed me to make choices that are all about me and not what their expectations are of me. They have supported me emotionally and financially and that’s a big deal for me while I’m working on my path. I want them to be proud of me for knowing my abilities, likes and dislikes. Their encouragement is why I feel so blessed.”
Blessings, gratefulness, gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness come in all shapes and sizes, colors and moods, perspectives and mindsets. We have choices how we embrace what is dear and meaningful to us and how we act/react to others who don’t share our same opinions.
Above all, we must have faith, though right now it feels difficult to achieve, that during the holiday season we have gratitude for our family, friends and community who will give us strength to strive for health and peace and that justice will prevail for America.
And most importantly, I hope we all share the Thanksgiving table with those we appreciate and love so we can all carve the turkey together! ENJOY!…Sandy
As a Baby Boomer Bubbe who still feels 18 but has four grand kids to prove this is the 21 Century, Sandra writes to leave a legacy for the next generations. Her belief that these precious kids need to know their cultural and family’s past in order for them to live their future is all the muse she needs!
She has a Master’s Degree in Psychology and Cross Cultural studies, has written a family history, personal memoir and is completing her first novel.
Her grandmother’s journey to America and life is her source for her deep belief and love for Judaism.
On the day following the election, I posted the following on my Facebook feed:
Many, perhaps most of us are dealing with a mixture of emotions – anger, confusion, apprehension, and that is okay. Let it all out.
There is a wise saying: “Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness”.
What we can do is take action, double and redouble support for the organizations that will stand in the way of Trump2.0’s destructive agenda. The assaults on the environment will be fast and furious. Give your support and money to groups such as Sierra Club, NRDC, Earth Justice, and others. Likewise, to counter the assaults coming our way on civil liberties, show your support for ACLU. There are so many other ways to stand in the way of the coming storm.