Chayai Sarah (Genesis 23:1-25:18) Abraham’s Responsibilities…And Ours

Porte de Damas à Jerusalem

This week we meet another fascinating portion. In Genesis 23 we learn immediately of Sarah’s death. The commentaries have a field day with this stark verse. No preamble, no gradual decline just in 23:1 the statement that she dies. Abraham mourns (we have no mention of how long) and then after mourning, arranges to purchase a burial location and buries Sarah in the cave of Machpelah. We then see the gradual transformation, in a way, of Abraham. His first task after the burial site is to find a wife for Isaac. Genesis 24 captures this famous story of Eliezer and Rebecca at the well and the eventual meeting id Rebecca and Isaac (24:62-67) The portion continues with Abraham remarrying, having additional children. In 25 we find the death of Abraham (25:8) and a curious verse in 9 that tells us that both Isaac and Ishmael attend their father’s funeral. Notice that there is no mention of the sons attending Sarah’s funeral.
For many in our generation, we find ourselves attending too many funerals now. Discussions about end-of-life issues, once so strange and seeming far away, are now much closer to our own reality. In an interesting turn of focus, there are a growing number of organizations within the Jewish world that just focus on end-of-life issues. With longevity a reality and medical technology pushing boundaries and with the legalization of Medical Aid in Dying in many places, the issue is getting much more of a spotlight. Discussions that surround the issue include the high cost of caregiving, medical insurance and the stress of being a caregiver. That is why, there is a growing push among the Jewish community to remind families to begin the discussions of end of life wishes sooner, rather than later. Many congregations build in annual educational forums that discuss the Jewish texts approach to the issue and combine it with discussions from elder care lawyers, financial planner etc to highlight the need. The worst time to make decisions is in a crisis.
This portion reminds us that making arrangements for loved ones and ourselves is a necessity in our day and age. Likewise, the necessity of discussing those wishes with family and friends is a priority. We have resources as part of Jewish Sacred Aging® (see in Resources menu bar A Time To Prepare) and there are a growing number of rituals that are and have been created that speak to this stage of life. As part of our work, we even have created a blessing to be said upon signing an advanced medical directive. (look for a copy of this blessing in our Living Longer, Living Better blog on this site)
This portion is, in a way, a Torah portion of responsibility. Abraham takes care of Sara’s burial. He finds a wife for his son. Adult responsibilities, in his time open the door to the responsibilities of being an adult in our times when it comes to our wishes at the end of life. Again, the Torah “speaks” to us in the context of our own lives.
Shabba shalom,
Rabbi Richard F Address

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