In the Land of Post-Adulthood

Last month, I walked my daughter and her daughter to their first days of school. My first-born started graduate school. My granddaughter started third grade. The three of us walked along, holding hands. After stopping at the elementary school, my daughter headed off to her class on the train. And I walked home, poignantly, recalling several first days of third grade for all my children.

Two months ago, I returned to the place where I grew up, to the lake where swimming had been banned earlier this summer. The cyanotoxins had cleared, so every morning I went for a swim and a kayak ride. This year, I saw and appreciated things on that lake that I hadn’t really seen before.

I guess the first thing that I appreciated is that I am still swimming there. And believe me, I don’t for a minute take that one for granted. It is not uncommon that, as we age, our inevitable changes will include physical difficulties, so some level of staying active is both wise and joyful.

I also noticed trees with unique shapes and bark, as well as the loud gaggle of geese that flew by at water level every evening at about 8pm. The otter that let me kayak within three feet of her is most memorable.

Even as we appreciate the beauty of this physical existence, things are not always as they appear. Why else would we continue to use the term ‘sunrise’? Everyone knows that the sun doesn’t rise, rather it is the earth rotating. Similarly, our apparently solid world is fundamentally composed of vibrations and energy, the stuff of sub-atomic particles.

The outward appearance of aging can be a misleading hindrance. The declinist view of our aging is that it’s all downhill, that we’re making the best of a bad situation. The truth is that there are always possibilities open to us in our third third of life. We don’t always see them. In the land of post-adulthood, life can keep getting better.

One reason we may not see the possibilities is because we often take things for granted. The amazing, raw, un-commonplace beauties of our physical existence become commonplace due to repetition. Also, we don’t see the possibilities because, as we age, our inevitable changes and diminishments usurp our attention.

Yes, our physical changes as we get older can be painful and difficult. They can be more than minor irritants. Wishful thinking causes us to deny or minimize the inevitable. Need I say that most of us do this in regards to death? Especially our own death.

Many of us succumb to the commercial consumer pressures that equate ‘successful aging’ with becoming gray-haired teenagers, judging ourselves using the outdated standards of youth. This reinforces our societal mantra that old is bad, young is good. Oh, and besides, how can one succeed or fail at aging? It’s going to happen no matter what we do.

Aging is more than what we see in the mirror. It is a choice made in the heart and mind, not in the body. The question is how are we going to respond to it, not what are we going to do about it.

About Marc Blesoff 19 Articles
After thirty plus years as a criminal defense attorney, Marc has been facilitating Wise Aging and Conscious Aging Workshops. He is married forty-five years, and has three children and one grandchild. He is a founding member of Courageus and is currently the chairperson of the Oak Park, IL Aging-In-Place Commission.

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