It Is Not Good To Be Alone: A Challenge For This New Year

It is no coincidence, I think, that so many colleagues, during this past High Holiday season, referenced the Mr Rogers documentary. It was a wonderful film that reminded us of the need for basic civility and decency. It also called to mind the power of inclusion and diversity and, to that end, the importance of community and relationships. So now the Jewish year has begun and, with the arrival of Fall, the secular year emerges from summer and the “program year” for so many begins again. So many of us will be busy with “things” and such. The reality of this also calls to mind a powerful word that appeared in this past week’s Torah portion, the word l’vado.

It is found for the first time in Genesis 2:18 and it is in the context of the second creation story when we are reminded that it is not good that we are alone. This word, and its ramifications, is a fitting subject for sermons and articles. However, what it points us to is a not so subtle reminder that we maybe facing a crises in isolation; isolation of people as they age. A recent AARP article, by David Frank,noted that 1 person out of every 3 is “lonely”. Despite out increased technology and growing electronic communities, this statistic should concern us for the impact of loneliness on mental and physical health is well documented. (for the full report from AARP go to:  This growing reality of social isolation is a result of many factors. Longevity does contribute to this. We do have more people who are living longer and in some cases, outliving the bulk of their social network. Yet, too many people live in isolation, as their social networks constrict, they sometimes are forgotten. And then there are the thousands of people who reside in facilities who rarely get visitors.

What this growing reality calls on us to do is to not forget that a growing number of people can easily be forgotten. They may not come to events or programs because of a variety of situations and circumstances. As we work with congregational Caring Community groups, this issue comes up all the time and we try and remind them that one of the functions of congregations in this day and age must be to insure that no one is forgotten. Telephone calls, “friendly visitors”, transportation assistance programs, etc, are just some of the ways we can make sure that no one is allowed to be alone. Sometimes all it takes it for someone to reach out to make a connection. Try creating an inter-generational connect program that links teens and young adults to some of the people who may be shut-ins or isolated. You will be doing a mitzvah for all concerned. That Genesis passage and word has so much relevance to our modern society. Take the time to look around and see who is NOT there and why.


Rabbi Richard F Address

1 Comment

  1. I am old, alone and invisible. People do not want to hear about what it’s like to be nearing the end of life. I’ve learned that up close and personal. I do not ask anyone for anything. If I can’t do it myself, it doesn’t get done. I’ve learned not to expect anything from anyone. It’s sad that people have evolved to this state of mind. I was a hospice nurse and for me it was a privilege to usher out a person from this life and ease their transition into another realm. It’s okay by me that I am alone. I choose to be. I am alone but not lonely. I have out r lived my children siblings and husband. I work at not allowing self pity or being bitter. I welcome my good death.

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