As Valentine’s Day quickly approaches — wasn’t it just New Year’s Eve? — we are inundated with the visuals of red hearts, boxes of heart-shaped candies, cupids, bouquets of flowers and the reminder that the least you can do is send a Valentine’s Day greeting card! We know February 14 is a score for companies who manufacture the “merch” and businesses who sell the romantic gifts, love-themed items and affectionate keepsakes.
What we may not know is that historians credit St. Valentine’s Day origins from a Roman festival held in mid-February where men sacrificed animals and used their hides to bless women with fertility.
Over time, as Christianity spread, pagan events were replaced with Christian celebrations. The most famous fable is that a priest in the third century named St. Valentine of Rome, performed secret marriages for soldiers who were ordered to stay single until after military service. He was caught and imprisoned for his indiscretions but before he was executed on February 14, 269 AD, he sent a note to a love-interest and signed it, “From your Valentine.”
By the 14th century, poet Geoffrey Chaucer wrote about courtship and romantic love which became linked to St. Valentine. By the 18th and 19th centuries, exchanging handwritten love notes evolved into a fashionable gesture and eventually gifts and cards were sent on February 14and marked as Valentine’s Day.
So, a combination of early Roman traditions, stories of Christian martyrs and the customs of medieval romantics has resulted into a day of sharing love and heartfelt gifts. Who doesn’t love the sentimentality of such a lovely tradition?
Several weeks ago, I got an email from an Australian woman who created a website to connect Jewish women all over the world, where I am one of the contributing writers. She forwarded me an email from an East Coast woman who wanted to ask me if I would facilitate, via Zoom, her synagogue’s Women’s Group in writing their personal memoirs and family histories! I was surprised and excited to be chosen for this task and I joyfully accepted the honor!
So, let’s connect the dots of Legacy is Love, Valentine’s Day and writing family memoirs!
For me, it’s a very simple leap: Valentine’s Day is clearly a day to reach out to those who maybe we don’t often enough express our love and gratitude; writing a memoir about your family’s history is a labor of love which all equals Legacy is Love.
Legacy can have different meanings and come in all shapes and sizes. A grandmother can will a grandchild a cherished piece of jewelry; a mother can give a set of China she got for a wedding gift; a grandfather can pass down his mother’s Shabbat candle sticks from the old-country; a father can entrust his cherished baseball card collection. Each of these items are beloved memories of day’s past; days to remember when life was simpler, maybe happier with the possibility of sacrifice to hold onto these items. In other words, each legacy item most likely has a story.
Everyone has a story; everyone has Legacy to leave. You may not realize it, but YOU DO HAVE A STORY, as each of us is unique, our story is the ONLY story like it in the world.
As I prepare my outline on how to create an easy format for these women to gather the stories, experiences and memories for the result to be a bound book of their family history, I am struck as to the importance of the Legacy of Love project they are taking on!
Family legacy doesn’t have to be a tangible item. It can be the stories from the beginning that tell the timelines of where families came from, how they arrived in new countries with all the tales of that journey.
Leaving this information with our children and grandchildren will give them the appreciation of how they got to where they are, for I truly believe, if you don’t know where you come from, you don’t know where you’re going.
You are your Legacy. Sharing the stories creates a Legacy of Love that will live on and on and on. Write them, video them, record them. But don’t let them die. Let family members help you, involve them in the process. They are how future generations will know you were here.
May you have generous amounts of love and lots of chocolate on Valentine’s Day, and ALWAYS! LEGACY IS LOVE, and forever….Sandy
P.S.: I have written two family history books filled with stories I don’t want to be forgotten. I have had them printed and shared them with family and friends. One of them resulted in a week-end family reunion for 50 people! I also have created a Legacy Box where I put special items for designated people. My favorite is the four wine glasses from the set I received as a wedding present, that has each grandchild’s name on it. This is what I hope they will use at their weddings to step on and yell “MAZEL TOV!”
As a Baby Boomer Bubbe who still feels 18 but has four grand kids to prove this is the 21 Century, Sandra writes to leave a legacy for the next generations. Her belief that these precious kids need to know their cultural and family’s past in order for them to live their future is all the muse she needs!
She has a Master’s Degree in Psychology and Cross Cultural studies, has written a family history, personal memoir and is completing her first novel.
Her grandmother’s journey to America and life is her source for her deep belief and love for Judaism.
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