I don’t know about you, but there are days I wake up and have no idea what day it is! No job to go to. No specific places to go to. No specific tasks to do. Not even a rush to get out of bed because no one is needing me to do anything special. And because the TV schedules are messed up, my regularly scheduled programs aren’t even regular so I can’t even count on my favorite TV shows to let me know it’s Monday or if it’s Thursday! And in almost seven months, because my kids, grandkids and I have not been together, I can only remember three or four days that stand out as special. And two of those days were Holiday ZOOM days! It seems our lives are just one big blur of mush.
But I am one of the lucky ones, first and foremost because my family has lived by the rules to make good decisions to stay out of harm’s way to be safe from the virus; my blessing are counted for this daily, many times a day. And second, because I had to create a Plan B when my little home cooking business abruptly ended March 13. (I would go to client’s homes and cook a week’s worth of dinners for them). My kids and I came up with an idea to take my cooking instincts and create an online Meal Planning Consulting service (let me know if you are interested in wanting to know more!) which has given me a deliberate reason to get to my computer every day.
I structure my day like a workday: Regular morning stuff like a walk, clean a little here and there, throw in a load of wash, make a soup, shower, dress and even apply a little makeup because if makes me feel better, and then head to my office to work at my computer until 7-7:30 p.m. I have been doing this for six months, seven days a week, OK, I’ve laxed on two days. I am driven because I’ve had no income all this time and have to get this business up and running ASAP! I can’t believe how long it takes to produce a website and ALL the content needed for DinnersByMom.com. I think we can go live in about six weeks.
Here is my point when I say I’m one of the lucky ones: I have a purpose and a goal that gets me moving every day. Not that every day is great or exciting and I often go to sleep feeling sad and lonely because 2020 has been off-the-charts horrible but there are those moments of enlightenment that make me mindful of being grateful for the little joys life brings; in the most unexpected, small and possible-to-miss ways. I have one of those tales to share.
But I do have to say how saddened I am with so many friends who are floundering during these difficult times with nothing to do, nothing to get them motivated. I have one friend who tells me how she dresses up to go grocery shopping because she’s tired of wearing schleppy clothes every day. I have another friend who ALWAYS kvetched how often her daughter asked her to pick up the kids at school, to take them to dance classes or Hebrew school, while venting, “Doesn’t my daughter know I have a life too?” And now, she cries, I mean real tears, wishing she could go and pick up her grandkids at school and take them places. Neither of these friends are avid readers, no creative hobbies, don’t like to cook or garden, so they eat and watch TV to pass their days. They continually tell me how lucky I am to have something to keep me busy all day. I know that. Believe me, I do know that. And, on the other hand, my two friends are married and financially secure. So no one has it all.
So what I’ve learned from this blur of mush is how people view the world, what makes them happy, what they need to keep them happy, what makes them upset, how they find ways to fill the hours in every day and, most importantly, what little things can make someone’s day.
In spite of my mind being busy every day, I feel great sadness at missing the interaction with my two daughters and son, my grandson and three granddaughters. We talk numerous times a day, we wave when they bring me groceries, we FaceTime, and often have Zoom dinners but there is nothing like a real hug or a kiss. Oh, how I crave a hug and a kiss. (I have a friend who lives with her kids, grandkids and husband and says, “I live in a house with five people and I have never felt so alone in my life. We have nothing to talk about.”)
And here is why I had a glorious day yesterday! My two older granddaughters are in high school; one is a sophomore and the other is a senior. On a separate phone conversation with each of them, I asked a hypothetical question: “If the current president and the current vice president were unable to perform the duties of their office, who would take charge of the country?”
And to my great delight, and kvelling, each one, quite loudly, I might add, yelled, “Nancy Pelosi!”
This made my day!
“Why?” you might ask.
#1. They are listening in school—via remote learning!
#2. They each took pride that a woman could run the country (and each did make a comment that, “It would really piss off the president if Nancy Pelosi was in charge!” Yes, on the emes, they each said this! Another reason to make my day!).
#3. They are aware that women have no limits
The conversations were hours apart but the joy and excitement I felt all day that my granddaughters are learning, listening and likely to follow their dreams imagining no limits obstructing their goals filled me with hope for their futures, lessened my worries that they are missing out via remote-learning and encouraged that they will find their places in such a complex world.
My Day was Made because:
#1. I felt excitement for their journeys
#2. I felt at peace with my worries about their education
#/3. I felt how lucky I was that Ari and Shayna, two, young, eager-to-learn young women could make my day
And I learned:
#1.There is nothing new under the sun except the history we have not yet experienced
#2. In spite of our lifestyle during 2020, there is much to learn in the places you go when you can’t go
#3. There is lots to learn out-of-the-mouths of babes
FOR THE SAKE OF OUR GRANDCHILDREN, PLEASE VOTE BLUE!
As a Baby Boomer Bubbe who still feels 18 but has four grand kids to prove this is the 21 Century, Sandra writes to leave a legacy for the next generations. Her belief that these precious kids need to know their cultural and family’s past in order for them to live their future is all the muse she needs!
She has a Master’s Degree in Psychology and Cross Cultural studies, has written a family history, personal memoir and is completing her first novel.
Her grandmother’s journey to America and life is her source for her deep belief and love for Judaism.