
As I wrote here a few weeks ago, I celebrated my ‘Simchat Chochma’ (Celebration of Wisdom) in October 2023. It was a beautiful occasion, acknowledging my becoming an ‘elder’. I chose to do this upon reaching the age of 70 years and was so honored that Rabbi Richard Address and my daughter, Cantor Lauren Goodlev, designed a very meaningful ceremony for me and my family and friends to share together. It was above and beyond special. Rituals are meant to be transformative. I believe this truly was.
I had the opportunity to share some of my ‘wisdom’ with everyone at that time. Here is the gist of my words. I framed it as an acronym: AGES:
- A = Acknowledge — Acknowledge I am aging. 70 is a milestone. Ps. 90:10 talk about the span of our life is 70 years. Pirke Avot talks about 70 being the age of fullness. I hadn’t appreciated that it would hit me this way, having blithely been thinking I’m still young. I’m blessed to be married, for over 50 years, to one of the pioneers and gurus in the field of palliative medicine and hospice — so talking about death is very easy in our household. But now, I’m starting to face into my own mortality. Mmmm…
- G = Grateful – I am so Grateful to be doing so. Each morning I wake up saying Modah Ani. I try to appreciate each day. Ps. 90:12 teaches us to “number our days rightly, so we may obtain a heart of wisdom.” I’m working on that…
- E = Embrace – Embrace the Uncertainty. Try to learn that nothing is perfect and that’s ok. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. So live today, be with friends and family. Many years ago, my husband Michael shared with me a phrase from one of his colleagues in Hospice work: “Life is a sexually transmitted condition that is inevitably fatal.’ So — my takeaway from all this is: Carpe Diem! Seize the Day.
- S – Sage. Become a Sage. Use your time wisely and share your years of wisdom with everyone who might want to learn. I am a Mashpi’ah Ruchanit — a Spiritual Director, trained in the Jewish Renewal tradition of Reb Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, z”l. He wrote a wonderful book decades ago, From Age-ing to Sage-ing: A Revolutionary Approach to Growing Older. His main point is to harvest your years of wisdom and ‘lean into’ aging. It is a blessing, not to be taken lightly, but to be cherished. Share your wisdom.
L’dor va’Dor. From Generation to Generation.
So — what am I doing with all my years of wisdom?
I am trying to take good care of my husband and my family, including four amazing adult children (our two of origin and their partners) and five precious grandchildren. I try to take care of myself in between it all. I know that is critical, too.
In that regard, in 2020, I embarked on a three-year course of study to become a Mashpi’ah. Frankly, I took the training in some large part, to become better connected to God, personally myself. The program totally served that goal. Now I am trained and want to help other people with their spiritual journeys, especially as we age, and ask more questions, like ‘what’s it all about?’ I am trying to discern how best to be further ‘deployed’ — another R. Zalman phrase — in that effort.
Our family has always found the words of R. Hillel, in Pirke Avot, to be a great guide:
“If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
But if I am only for myself, what am I?
And if not now, when?”
So I need to take care of myself, my family, others, and I need to do it now!
So dear reader, today is the first day of the rest of your life.
My question for you is how can you be best deployed?
As Mary Oliver has asked in her poem, “The Summer Day”:
‘What is it that you want to do with your one wild and precious life?’
A question for the AGES. And the generations.
L’dor va’Dor.
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