Is the Golden Age of Judaism like Egyptian fish sautéed in onions and garlic? Does the wilderness and fear of the unknown knock us off balance? Do we start to question our institutions and leaders? Is it all too much?
Moses found himself in the middle of the wilderness surrounded by kvetching people who could not see a way out of their complaining. The irony is that Moses too followed in the complaining. Was it mirroring? Was Moses playing the role of God for the people and/or was Moses playing the role of the people to God?
Sometimes we forgot to honor what was left behind. To mourn the situation of the past. Even when our discernment is correct we still grieve what was lost or the potential of what could have been.
When we become disconnected from ourselves we make bad choices. When we are hungry we may eat to gluttony thinking that it may be the last quail available.
When we are thirsty we may drink too much or use spirits in an attempt to manage discomfort. The wilderness teaches us all about moderation and balance.
I wonder if Moses had burnout. It is characterized by cynicism, dissatisfaction, numbing, somatic problems, mental distress and poor interpersonal functioning. Perhaps a respite stay at Mt. Sinai was what he needed in addition to the wisdom of delegation.
As Moses was addressing God in dissatisfaction stating the words, “kill me.” I was reminded of an old boss of mine at the hospital. Whenever something stressful happened he would utter the words “Just Kill me!” I never sensed that he was serious yet I wonder if it was a statement leaving space for a transformation of thought.
Did this statement for him clear the way for a solution to enter? Was it a release of what did not serve him? Was it his way to say aloud, “hey this situation sucks.”?
Sometimes in the wilderness it just sucks. Sometimes there is a need for lamenting. Sometimes there is a need for space. And sometimes there is a need for solitude.
Is Judaism in the wilderness? Do we want to do things the same way as before? Do old ways of thinking and doing offer new solutions to new sets of circumstances? Is there space for Judaism to continue to evolve?
Was the Egyptian fish really that good or is there space for a little shmear?
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