One of the great pleasures, or joys, that many of us can experience is the time we spend with grandchildren. Recently, I went to see the new Pixar film “Inside Out 2” with the kids. It was a film I was looking forward to seeing, as I remembered number 1 with great pleasure. If you have not seen it, try to make time. It is focused on a teen-age girl, but it does not take too much imagination to see the messages for us in the movie. Much of the film looks at the on-set of puberty for our heroine Riley, and with it the introduction of the emotion of anxiety. The film jockeys dueling emotions of joy and anxiety.
We continue to live through some time that is testing us as a society and, I think, as individuals. I also think it relates to much of our generation, as the events in the public sphere really raise so much anxiety in many of us. Between the political circus, violence, wars in Europe and Gaza, it is hard not to feel increased anxiety. How often, in conversations with friends and family, is this feeling of anxiety a topic of conversation? Coming as this does on the heels of a still lingering pandemic (do you know friends or family who still get diagnosed with Covid?), it is easy to fall prey to what seems to be pervasive anxiety.
That is why this film seemed so meaningful, for the character of the emotion of joy is setup as the foil to anxiety. How often have we thought of how you and I can find some moments of joy in this increasingly complex world? Indeed, what I am finding in many of the conversations we have in our Jewish Sacred Aging work is this desire to find moments of joy in our life. This may lead some to mistake joy for what we call happiness. Happiness seems, as we get older, to be this mythical level of existence. It may be a creation of American society; you know that phrase “as long as you are happy”! What does that really mean? Rather, let me suggest that we look for and create moments that bring us joy, and these moments are often spontaneous. They can be just seeing a sunset, or hearing a beautiful piece of music, or just being with a loved one, or hanging out with a friend or grandchild. These are moments that help bring definition and often meaning to each of our lives. It can also be a memory!
Let me suggest that we give this some thought, that we give up the idea or myth of happiness—because real life does not work like that—and focus on those moments in life that bring us joy. It is in these moments that we overcome anxiety and remember that life is this precious gift and that the parts of it that we can control can be used to bring joy into our life.
Just a thought!
Shalom,
Rabbi Richard F Address
Rabbi Richard F. Address, D.Min, is the Founder and Director of www.jewishsacredaging.com. Rabbi Address served for over three decades on staff of the Union for Reform Judaism; first as a Regional Director and then, beginning in 1997, as Founder and Director of the URJ’s Department of Jewish Family Concerns and served as a specialist and consultant for the North American Reform Movement in the areas of family related programming. Rabbi Address was ordained from Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in 1972 and began his rabbinic career in Los Angeles congregations. He also served as a part time rabbi for Beth Hillel in Carmel, NJ while regional director and, after his URJ tenure, served as senior rabbi of Congregation M’kor Shalom in Cherry Hill, NJ from 2011-2014.
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