Wishing Peace to a Fading Senior Loved One

Purple peace lily background

One of the saddest experiences of being a senior involves relating to family and friends who are dying of a chronic degenerative disease. I have faced this with a long-term friend who appears to be in the final stage of ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or Lou Gehrig’s Disease). I am sharing my loving approach to getting through the late stage to benefit both of us with peace.

A 45-year friendship approaches its end
My beloved Susan suffers with late ALS
ravaging her body, confusing her mind
unhinging her emotions, darkening her spirits
Our face-to-face and video-phone visits
fewer, shorter and more challenging
Disease slowly, relentlessly cancels her
Like at sunset her radiant Soul fades
With love and respect I keep on relating

I cherish our chats when Susan feels calm
open, aware, allowing my gentle touching
loving words, her sweet smiles, mild laughter
Susan’s speaking capacity declines physically
She was always a vibrant communicator
Keeps on trying, but inability intrudes
repeating, frustrating, resigned quiet
Her cognitive connections collapsing

Even more heart wrenching to accept
the delusions Susan currently speaks
Her complaints and demands increase
more persistent, outrageous, desperate
Distorting her face, her voice, her words
Fermenting inner turmoil pushes me away

I resist the ego voice to withdraw from Susan
Can I practice the Unconditional Love I want
to see in a world of uneven consciousness?
I open my heart, look in Susan’s eyes
Massage her arms, back, legs and feet

I endeavor to speak from my heart
The words flow … our old feisty romance
her life’s many wonderful triumphs
support for each other in pain or joy
I take a tune, like “You Are My Sunshine”
sing made-up words to acclaim Susan
our shared inspiration and wisdom
her vital presence a part of me

I wish Susan peace, grace on her journey
My love endures … past, now, forever

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